When I Did the Fast… and Actually Moved ⏭️

The Breaking Point

I walked out of my boss’s office furious.

One week earlier, I had been given a verbal offer for a promotion. But when the written offer finally arrived, the salary was suddenly $8,000 less than what I had been promised.

After years of working tirelessly on a manned space project — sacrificing evenings, vacations, and peace of mind — I was being handed an offer that felt more insulting than rewarding. And knowing I was earning less than the colleague I had personally helped train made it impossible to pretend the slight was accidental.

I wanted to quit immediately.

But the reality was… I couldn’t.

And somehow, showing up every day after that conversation became harder than the work itself.

The Comfort Trap

I had become comfortable with stability.

The steady income. Reliable insurance. Automatic retirement contributions. The girls trips. International vacations with family and the people I loved. Birthday gifts “just because I deserved them.” I was finally enjoying the fruits of years of hard work.

And honestly? That comfort made me complacent.

I stopped pursuing growth — professionally and personally — because my life looked successful enough on paper. But deep down, I already knew something wasn’t right.

The truth was — I didn’t actually like the work I was doing anymore.

I had the title, the experience and enough credibility to leave if I wanted to.

But that salary rejection forced me to confront something I had been avoiding:

I was far more expendable than I thought.

Before the Leap

At my first major crossroads, I decided to fast and pray for clarity.

Truthfully, I wasn’t even confident I was “doing it right.” I just knew I was desperate for direction. Desperate for peace. Desperate for something to shift.

So I showed up imperfectly. I abstained from the vices that helped me cope day-to-day — alcohol and social media — and leaned into the things that have always helped me dig deeper. I prayed. I journaled. I sat with my thoughts longer than I was comfortable with.

And somewhere in that quiet, something started to loosen.

Not a booming voice. Not a sign with arrows. Just a slow, steady settling — like God was rearranging things on the inside before He revealed anything on the outside. He was preparing me for movement before He ever showed me the door.

Sometimes a Glimmer Is All You Need

During the fast, it became apparent very quickly that I was going to have to get comfortable with not knowing.

After spending so much of my life gripping the guardrail of certainty, I realized the fast was asking me to do the one thing I had always resisted: let go.

So I started with what was in front of me. I updated my résumé over and over until I could finally see my accomplishments jumping off the page. Then I started applying to jobs I had no direct experience in — but felt genuinely capable of doing.

At first, it felt like casting a net into the dark.

Then one of my close friends — and former managers — called me about someone she had met at a networking event. A recruiter at a finance company, looking for industrial engineers to join their team of Sourcing Managers.

She connected us. I sent my résumé.

And suddenly, everything started moving fast.

Within weeks, I had applied, interviewed with HR, interviewed with the hiring manager, negotiated salary, and discussed a start date — before I could even catch my breath.

And while I was grateful… I was also terrified.

I have zero experience in this industry. I don’t know this line of work. What if I can’t learn fast enough? What if I completely embarrass myself? What if I’m in over my head?

The questions wouldn’t stop. But neither did I.

I was still submitting applications. Still showing up to interviews. Still negotiating for what I was worth. Still preparing for a future I had literally prayed for — while fear sat in the passenger seat the entire time.

And that’s when I realized something:

Sometimes faith doesn’t look fearless.

Sometimes faith looks like moving forward while uncertainty walks right beside you.

God didn’t remove the fear. He just stopped letting fear make my decisions.

The Shift

Eventually I realized something important:

I was more afraid of staying than I was of leaving.

I had become so emotionally exhausted by my day-to-day reality that the possibility of a better life finally became more believable than the fear of the unknown.

So instead of feeding my fears, I started journaling what I actually wanted from my next opportunity. Fair compensation. Peaceful vacations without my laptop. A consistent manager. Challenging work that didn’t consume my entire life.

I stopped rehearsing worst-case scenarios and started imagining my future out loud — on paper, one honest line at a time.

When the written offer finally arrived, I typed my resignation letter, rehearsed my “I’m off to my next adventure” speech, and decided to move scared.

Because deep down, despite all my self-doubt, I knew this next step was aligned.

What the Other Side Revealed

The morning I officially started, I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot and just breathing.

Something in me knew this was God. Not because everything felt easy — it didn’t. But because there was a settled certainty underneath all the nerves, like a foundation that fear couldn’t crack.

There were peers who clearly would have preferred someone else to be selected. I felt it. But their avoidance and dismissal weren’t enough to shake what had already been confirmed on the inside. This role was for me. And I was going to show up like it.

Then during a 1:1 with one of the senior leaders, he said something I’ll never forget:

“I know change can breed uncertainty and discomfort. I moved here from Mexico 10 years ago, uprooted my wife and our dogs, and I was terrified. There were many days I thought, ‘What on earth did I do?’ So give this 6 months. If you still feel unsure in 6 months — come see me.”

That moment freed me.

For the first time, I realized this decision didn’t have to be permanent. It wasn’t going to ruin me if it ended up not being the right fit. All I had to do was show up and give it my best for 6 months. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I had already survived the emotional wringer at my previous job. Nothing at this new place could shake me more than what I had already endured.

God gifted me this opportunity because He had already prepared me for it.

🎧 In My Headphones:

Whether I am reminded by my village or in moments of prayer and meditation, I often come back to 1 recurring theme…God is and always has been bigger than any problem I’ve been faced with. So regardless of when I am reminded, I always know – He will make a way and guide me to where I can grow, learn and rely on Him.

Koryn Hawthorne — Won’t He Do It

The Invitation

Have you ever asked God for something… and then completely panicked when He finally offered it to you?

You prayed for the door. You fasted for the clarity. And then it showed up — and suddenly you weren’t sure you were ready.

Just remember – you don’t have to be fearless, you just have to be willing.

Your next step isn’t waiting for you to have it all figured out.

It’s waiting for you to move anyway.

Fast. Pray. Bloom 🌸